Even in the most simple negotiation, personal ties between two negotiators can be crucial! I had an experience recently that reminded me of the power of making personal connections.
I was out on a Saturday afternoon running some errands and stopped for a coffee. I fully planned on getting a normal coffee with some cream and sugar, but I saw some iced coffee treat that sounded good on a hot summer afternoon. The barista immediately latched on to my interest and took the extra few minutes to explain why that was the only coffee for me. He even went so far as to ask about some flavor preferences and helped me get something I was really pleased with.
Sounds like no big deal, right? It's just a coffee, right? Well, I was so happy with what I got, I visited another location and asked for the same thing. All I got were blank stares from the less than enthusiastic staff of baristas at this location. I finally explained it to them and despite the eye-rolls and sighing, I got what I wanted, but it was a lot more painful. Needless to say, I will probably just be ordering my regular coffee unless I find myself faced with the barista who took a few moments to connect with me on a personal level.
Now for the payoff - simply by talking me through the process, the barista was able to get me to buy something from him roughly twice as expensive as the coffee I had planned on getting. Granted, the difference between $2 and $4 isn't all that much, but say your negotiation is more complex and infinitely more money is on the line? The personal connections you are able to forge throughout your negotiation will help you maximize the value in the deal and will help prevent the inevitable "Us v. Them" mentality that often seizes many negotiators.
For some ideas on how to reach out to your negotiation partners, check out these two great books: Beyond Reason, by Roger Fisher & Daniel Shapiro and How To Win Friends and Influence People, by Dale Carnegie.
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