The Brilliant Negotiator Within

I saw this young kid at the bike shop trying to convince his parents to get him a bike. He was a brilliant negotiator. His dad finally agreed to his complex proposal for a new set of wheels. This made me think that negotiation is an innate skill that we all possess but, with time, lose touch with. We supposedly “grow up” and in the process become negotiation wimps. Think back to when you were a child and tried to convince your parents to let you do things. You probably had a good success ratio.

It’s a common misconception that either you’re born to negotiate or you’re not, but I think that negotiation is a mindset and skill we all possess and need to reconnect with. When we were kids, we were authentic, we knew what we wanted and we knew what buttons to push so our parents would cave. As an adult, we struggle to be authentic, are often confused about what we want and treat everyone the same.

Brilliant negotiators are born inside us all, they just tend to die through the process of growing up. If you can overcome this irony and reconnect with the mindset and skills in your mental storage locker, you will be well on your way to becoming a great negotiator … AGAIN.

The mindset and skill children have are the same as the framework that Stuart Diamond, author of Getting More, says should be used for each and every negotiation.

• Be authentic and know the desired goal(s)
• Understand the other side and act accordingly (each person is different we must figure out how to connect with them versus overpowering them – focus on them versus yourself).
• Figure out what it will take to persuade the others in this deal.

We all negotiate 20 to 40 hours a week. In fact, the value of your life is the sum total of the deals you negotiate. Why not reconnect to your brilliant negotiator within and kick some ass. Connecting to your natural brilliance comes from focus, practice, desire and persistence or, in simpler terms, from acting like you did when you were a kid.

(Photo from lovingyourchild.com)

Getting to "No" You

I have recently learned getting to "yes" is often proceeded by saying "no." A couple months back I was offered what I considered to be a dream job: great pay, international travel, the ability to work from home. Naturally, I jumped on the opportunity. I told my boss, my friends, my family – everyone – about my new gig. I purchased fancy clothes so I could be more businesslike. I spent all the money I knew I’d be getting before I saw a dime of it. After days of indecisiveness and tiring debates with myself, it hit me like a brick in the face: this job wasn’t right for me. I couldn’t quite voice why not, but I knew I had to say “no” to this seemingly unbeatable offer.

Saying "no" to that opportunity lead me to something that felt right: WieseLaw Contract Studio. Here I am surrounded by business-igniters and thought leaders, jokesters and geniuses. Though I bid adieu to the prospect of designer clothes and trips around the world, I said hello to something even better. And look: after just a few weeks’ time, they taught me how magical it can be to say “no.”

This concept may seem a bit strange at first, but it’s something we should all try to embrace and find comfort in. Nobody gets ahead by being a pushover, and they shouldn’t. What gets people far in life is having opinions and making definitive decisions. Here are a couple pointers to help you say “no:”

- Get over it: saying “no” doesn’t make you a bad person. It makes you a decision-maker.

- If you go into a negotiation and are slightly uncomfortable with it, get it out on the table. Let the person know right away that you’re leaning towards no.

- Remember what “no” often times leads to: an opportunity to say “yes.”

So next time something does not feel right, have the courage to say "no." And remember, when someone says "no" to you, don't sweat it -- they may be trying to open a different door down the road.

When Better Becomes Perfect.

One of the thoughts we recently put up on our "Ideas" page (Better is Perfect) got me thinking about how to explain this succinct, yet possibly complex idea. When people are confronted with a new contract they are often a little apprehensive about what kind of work it is going to take to get a deal they can live with. You may be unsure what protections you need, how the ownership of the work product will affect your future business and what "gotchas" may exist to act as stumbling blocks in the future. Additionally, it may be difficult for people to feel like they can push back on their deals because they fear losing the business. 

So how do you get Better deals? Whenever we start working with a new client that will be executing multiple contracts which require the same basic format (e.g., master services agreements or independent contractor agreements), we forge a master template for doing those types of deals which takes into account your specific needs and problems. This has two primary benefits: (1) If you are able to get the deal signed as is, you can be sure you have a great deal in place; and (2) If you are in a situation where you have to negotiate a deal, you have a metric for measuring whatever deal is presented. Through use of your master template and negotiating from that template you'll have a concrete way of knowing when your deals get better.

Now the logical leap comes in: Better is Perfect. That might seem like a stretch, but if you are able to take a proposed deal that, in the past, you would have signed without any changes and compare it to a deal where you were able to get some of your Master Template changes incorporated, you have a deal that is not only better, it's perfect! Now, I'm sure it's not perfect in the sense that you got everything you could have ever wanted in any deal. But one of the key principles of doing any deal is that both sides should be able to walk away from the bargain ready and willing to do another deal together. If you are able to put all these steps together, you'll realize that Better is Perfect.

Identifying Ownership - It's Trickier Than You Think

Many times, when two parties approach a deal they tend to think of their contribution and ownership of the overall project like this:

The problem is that most of the time there is going to be a significant amount of overlap. In those three circles. Your deals need to be able to not only identify the areas of collaborative ownership that exist within a given deal, but it should also accurately reflect the parties' understanding with respect to these overlaps.

Here's a tool to help you think through the ownership issues that you might be facing in your next deal:

Read The Contract

I know, I know, kind of a 'no duh' piece of advice, but think about it.  When was the last time you actually read through, word-by-word, your contract? Let me guess what you're thinking: "Isn't that what I hired my attorney to do?"  Sure, but all too often, something that seems clear to one person can be lost in translation to the four corners of a contract. This can easily happen with some of the more technical or "legalese"-laden sections of the contract.

In order to avoid costly mistakes that can come about as the result of these communication failures, Professor Guhan Subramanian of Harvard Law School suggests a three-part strategy (abstracted from Before you sign on the dotted line... Negotiation Volume 12, Number 5, May 2009):

1. Discuss the deal landscape with your attorney.  Why are you doing this deal? What do you hope to gain? What are your expectations with regards to the other party? What are some of the risks you and the other party will be facing? What do we do if things don't work out as planned? If your attorney can see the deal landscape as you see it, this will go a long ways to having the deal drafted accurately.
   
2.  Take time to read the contract and encourage the other party to do so as well.  Yeah, it may be a long and tedious, but if either side comes up with sections that are ambiguous or unclear, taking time to find those ambiguities and having them clarified before a problem arises can be very important. Turn to your attorneys if you need help getting clarity.
3. Have your attorney read the "legalese" back to you in plain English (or Spanish, or Bulgarian...etc.). This will help both of you get on the same page with some of the more difficult language of any deal.